boxofmisfits | It's Not a Software Glitch

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It's Not a Software Glitch

Sometimes the crew of the Chimaera figured that high command sent them on missions to the Unknown Region just so they didn't have to acknowledge the alien Grand Admiral for a while. Thrawn just took such assignments in stride. Scouts had reported the discovery of a backwater planet near the Unknown Region, and their reports sounded rather strange. A world host to many different native sapient races, able to do strange things that science couldn't explain, which hadn't become space-faring or even technologically caught up to most of the galaxy.

Thrawn was to send a camera crew down to film the planet, both as intel and as potential propaganda material. 'See what these people are going through and how nice would it be if the Empire helped them?' and all that. Thus the Chimaera had taken residence over a large city, later identified as Baldur's Gate, much to the citizens' horror and awe. Apparently their world was no stranger to invaders from another realm.

It was during one of these filming sessions that the crew ran into a rather odd glitch. They filmed a small group of seven people, but only six were showing up on the camera. They could see the man with their own eyes, he was right there, and yet no matter what, he just wasn't showing up on camera. Immediately the group had gone to the tavern where they were staying and reported this to Thrawn. The only explanation was that it was a software glitch, unlike anything they'd seen before. That explanation didn't satisfy Thrawn.

Curiosity immediately piqued, Thrawn asked for a description of the man and the location of where they'd captured the footage, and off he went. He had a pair of Death Troopers, in civilian clothes, nearby just in case, and Thrawn himself wore a hood and sunglasses, which did little to hide his alien features.

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'You'd be surprised how often skills you didn't think much of can come in handy if you're creative about it,' Astarion thought in response, continuing to chirp. Music was a good way of lowering people's guards. People tended to get chatty when there was good music and good times to go around.

In another life, that might have been something he'd want to try for himself. With his undead lifespan being what it was, maybe he would pick up an instrument or two to fill the time.

'And it is significantly easier for a human to blend in. Of course in a place so diverse, Thrawn could have walked around without the false ears and most people would just accept that there's obviously a race they haven't seen much of yet or assume he's just a deviation from the norm.'

He looked a little like a drow, but without the ears and without someone with a keen nose like himself, people would likely have slotted him neatly into a half-elf category. Perhaps one with clipped ears.

Though his squeaking responses had been vigorous, they settled into being less frequent at the brushing- it was a rather soothing sensation.

"Honestly, I think Thrawn just likes playing dress-up and going undercover in disguise. Part of his closet is sectioned off with his various disguises." He even owned a set of Mandalorian armor. He brushed down the bat's back, seeing that he liked it.

"But seriously, a major city goes to Hell and back, forcing out part of its population that had nothing to do with what happened, and then this weird cult involving brain-eating aliens comes along. Suddenly the Clone Wars look mild by comparison." Said by a man who was just a kid when the Clone Wars were going on, and whose homeworld was unaffected by the war. Just one of the few perks of being from a backwater planet.

The door chime sounded and Thrawn entered, back in his uniform. Eli paused in his brushing.

"I see you and Astarion have been conversing."

"Astarion?" He looked at the bat. "That's a pretty name."

'Can't fault a man for enjoying dressing up, I suppose.'

Even if the preference seemed to be on costumes made to blend in, rather than on clothes that let him stand out. Astarion couldn't really understand that, given that he preferred to be vain and look pretty when he could.

He let out a slightly louder chirp then and his ears waggled as he lifted his head to look up at the man, as if to insert an argument that the cult had been the worst. Being able to stand in the sun, wade through rivers, and enter homes without an invitation had been nice. But he had not enjoyed the threat of becoming a mind flayer. The cult would have been nicer if they could have taken control of the brain though.

Unfortunately his party of adventurers had not agreed with that course of action.

And though elves didn't sleep, his eyes closed as the brushing continued- letting out a slightly louder squeak when Thrawn rejoined them, though he didn't move or even open his eyes.

"I apologize, but I had work to do," Thrawn said to Astarion, reaching down to scratch him behind the ears.

"So what kind of bat is he?" Eli asked, putting his elbow on the desk so he could rest his chin in his hand.

"Vampire," Thrawn replied, scooping Astarion up and holding him in his palms. "I also have an important job for you in the near future. I want you to tutor our new Ambassador in galactic history and politics, show him how to use the holonet, and possibly teach him Sy Bisti."

"Just as long as it doesn't cut into my other duties, you understand," Eli said, not at all afraid to question or contradict his commanding officer.

Astarion supposed he could understand why some druids were so fond of their animal forms. It was awfully comfortable to be brushed, petted, and scratched behind the ears. He hadn't wanted to transform, of course, and would very much like to turn back soon but it still seemed somewhat out of his control.

He gave a few quick chirrups at Thrawn's response that he was a vampire, because really it was a bad joke. Even if only he and Thrawn were in the know about that.

Astarion raised a wing then as if to wave to the human- he was a quick study and would certainly not take up so much of his time that it cut into his other work. Out of the things Thrawn had mentioned this Sy Bisti sounded most difficult given that he thought it might be some sort of language.

Of course that was only guesswork on his part for now. Could be a specific form of manners or courtly behavior too. Some sort of custom. Hard to tell when all of this was still so alien.

"It won't," Thrawn assured him, noting the way Eli smiled at Astarion, finding the waving cute.

"Pretty smart critter you've got there too," Eli said.

"Yes, he is. I will leave you to your duties and call you if I require anything, Commander." The two nodded at each other, before Thrawn took Astarion back out. Rather than go back to his office, Thrawn took him to the next room over from Eli's.

The room was set up more like a suite with a large bed, a desk with a computer, some comfortable chairs for sitting, and a private washroom. Astarion's bag was on the bed.

"This is where politicians typically stay," Thrawn said. "Consider them your quarters." Thrawn rarely played host to politicians, since most politicians didn't like working with him.

As accommodations went, this was certainly acceptable. Not luxury in the way that Astarion might imagine it, but far better than the Emperor's old hideout beneath the Elfsong, a rented room, a bedroll in the wild, and certainly superior to the dormitory in Cazador's palace.

Though there were plenty of things he couldn't quite recognize, the presence of his bag of belongings brought some sort of familiarity into a space full of unfamiliar things, smells, and sounds. No view to the outside either meaning that it was a safe space for him to be awake in during the day.

Gods he missed being able to be in the sun.

He chirped given that he couldn't speak and it sounded appreciative. He hoped.

Astarion wasn't sure if, as the ambassador for Faerûn, he would be staying aboard Thrawn's ship for long or if he eventually would need to find his own way, but for now it was 'home'. And he could probably add to it to make it a tad less... Sterile. All in good time though.

For now his focus was on trying to change back into his humanoid form.

"Forgive me, but I must pass you back to Eli for a while. I still need to write my report. Fear not, I will omit certain details about you." Namely that Astarion could shift into a bat. It was a useful secret to have.

Taking Astarion back out, he rang Eli's door chime and the moment Eli answered, he passed the vampire bat off once more. Eli didn't even get a word out before Thrawn said, "I will be in my office." With that, he shut the door.

Eli let out a sigh, more directed at Thrawn, despite the Chiss being out of sight now. He looked at the bat, stroking his back gently. "I know, but sometimes he just does things without explaining himself. It's just how his mind works. Still, at least he left me with such an adorable charge."

'What? No!' is what Astarion would have said if he could actually speak in his current form. He was more than capable of entertaining himself after all and didn't need to be handed off to someone else like an unruly pet. He wasn't a dog, after all. Thrawn wouldn't come back to the room in shambles if he just left Astarion there to try to change back.

His squeaking sounded decidedly irritated as he was handed back to Eli, and he let out a sigh of his own to mirror the human's.

Astarion thought that he knew how Boo felt now. Though Minsc was at least more capable of listening to Boo than Thrawn was of listening to him, it seemed.

The vampire squeaked again and gestured with a wing toward the door- very much a can you believe this? sort of motion.

"Dunno why Thrawn can't just put you on a perch or something. Maybe he doesn't want you knocking over any of his artwork, or mistaking something in his office for a perch." Eli went over to his bed and sat down, still holding the bat in his hands.

"Between you and me, I kept my bard outfit. I like the colors on it," He turned the bat around, to his closet, where a rather colorful outfit peeked out. His guitar was also visible inside his closet. "I still can't believe that there's a world where magic is real and anyone can just learn to use it."

'Please. He knows I'm not some sort of animal. Though I suppose he did neglect to tell you that.'

Probably slipped his mind.

And that certainly was a bard's outfit there in the closet. Complete with musical instrument. Wearing that and carrying an instrument, Eli must have seamlessly blended into the crowd in Faerûn. Probably with less suspicion than what Thrawn had met, too.

'I should introduce you to Gale if magic is that interesting to you, darling. He could talk your ear off about the study of it.'

Of course while he was thinking that all he could do was chirp and gesture with a wing. Gods he hoped he regained the ability to turn back soon.

"Well, Thrawn said that our business there is far from over, so we can explore it some more. So much magic and interesting technology, and the people. Teiflings, dragonborns, dwarves, drow, elves, and so on." He hadn't seen any githyanki, but he knew they existed. He didn't really want to run into one of those mind flayer things in person, though. Not after Thrawn shared his findings on how they made more of their number.

"Speaking of, Thrawn was supposed to bring a local with him. Wonder why he hasn't made himself known yet."

Taking the bat with him, Eli went into the guest suite, figuring that he might as well help get it ready. Their guest hadn't arrived yet and so it wasn't locked yet. Putting the bat on his shoulder, he got some sheets and blankets from the linen closet.

"I just hope he's better than some of the politicians Thrawn's rubbed elbows with."

'Oh dear, doesn't have much of an eye for politicians, does he?'

Thrawn had seemed fairly adept at reading people, so Astarion wondered why that possibly was. Maybe because most politicians were self-centered and more wily than him. Astarion would have to wait and see until he possibly met these other politicians Thrawn had rubbed elbows with in the past.

He had decided to leave to be an ambassador for Faerûn- honestly he'd love to be a fly on the wall when the patriars and everyone who was anyone got that news from their mysterious visitors that he had been chosen without them even getting to vie for the position- so that meant that the political scene would be his too. Not as intensely as if he was strictly a politician himself, but still a representative for his world. Or his part of the world, rather.

Since they were back in the guest room now, he decided to have a better look around- taking flight from the human's shoulder to survey the room- though to someone else it probably just looked like he was flying in circles.

"I'm just glad he told that Pryce woman to get bent." Apparently she'd helped get Eli his long-overdue promotion, but then she had to kill all those people at Batonn, and it had soured her relationship with them. She had tried to convinced Thrawn that he needed her, but he'd turned her down and left her to deal with the rebels on Lothal herself.

"Honestly, he's just bad at politics in general. A genius in every other way, but really bad at politics." He looked up as the bat went flying. "Restless, huh?"

He moved the bag over to a nearby sofa, wondering why it felt kind of heavy. Books, maybe? The sheets and blanket were plain black, as was the pillowcase.

'Oh there's a tale that sounds juicy. I'll have to ask him to tell it sometime.'

And Thrawn's ineptitude for politics itself... Well, no one was good at everything. Even the prodigies and the geniuses of the world had areas where they were lacking. Astarion knew that better than most given his friendship with Gale who- while certainly learned- had not been given the gift of the gab.

Seeing his bag being moved then, he dove for it- and crawled into the opening at the top. Might as well make sure that all his things were accounted for.

Admittedly it would be through rifling through them in a very small form, but still. Perhaps he was a little restless.

Eli's eyes widened as the bat dove for the bag, hand darting away from it. "Alright, you want a dark place to hide in, that's fine with me." He'd been hiding in Thrawn's sleeve earlier, so Eli could assume that he liked dark places, like many bats.

He made the bed, even tucking the sheets in with hospital corners and fluffing the pillow after putting it in the pillowcase.

"Hope this guy gets here soon," He mused, sitting on the couch, next to the bag. He figured the bat would emerge sooner or later. Or fall asleep in there and force Eli to fish him out.

Muffled squeaks sounded from inside the bag- he was here already, Thrawn had just neglected to say as much. But then he had been told that magic wasn't a thing elsewhere, so he wasn't surprised that Eli hadn't come to the conclusion that he was playing host to the guest already.

Crawling through his belongings to ensure that everything was there- more or less able to tell from the way he had packed everything in there- he came back out quickly enough. Head popping out first and then the rest of him as he crawled down the side of the bag and onto the couch.

He really did wish that his magic would settle down and allow him to transform back.

Closing his eyes he tried to sense it within himself- and could more or less tell it was there. His ears wiggled as he connected with it, until something resolved and he took flight again- a blur of white swirling mist appearing, leaving him standing there once it disappeared. Once more back in humanoid form.

"Gods, that was certainly something," He sighed, turning to the human and doing a little bow to introduce himself, and turning on the charm, "Astarion Ancunín. A pleasure to properly meet you and... Apologies for my tardiness, so to speak."

Edited 2024-01-08 07:45 (UTC)

Eli was about to peek inside the bag, politeness about rifling through others' things be damned, when the bat emerged on his own. Before he could offer his sleeve, the bat flew away again. Brown eyes went wide and Eli jumped from the couch in shock as the bat changed.

"What the..?!" He looked the man, Astarion, up and down. He looked almost human, save for the ears. An elf, like he'd seen on that world. "You... this whole time... You're a man."

A beautiful man.

"Oh stars," His brown skin suddenly reddened. "I ran my mouth off around you. Spoke like you couldn't understand me."

The blushing was cute. Embarrassment for having spoken so freely around him, certainly. Not like it was his fault though.

"I am indeed- though I'm hardly about to fault you for not knowing given that you weren't warned. Seems it must have slipped the Grand Admiral's mind."

Astarion thought that was the title he should be using for Thrawn, at any rate. Using his name around one of his people could be the wrong thing to do after all, depending on what level of formality they expected while aboard this ship. For now, he figured it was best to play it safe.

"No need for this, hm?" He purred, stepping closer to brush the backs of those long pale fingers over the other man's cheek to indicate that he meant the embarrassment- not so much the blushing, just the reason for it, "I'm rather chatty with animals myself. It's a charming trait."

"I'm gonna kill him next time I see him." Thrawn was a busy man, but he could have said something or at least hinted that Astarion wasn't really an animal. In hindsight, all that chittering really was the bat talking back, and certain things he'd done made more sense in hindsight.

Brilliant as Thrawn was, sometimes he had a bad habit of not explaining things fully, or omitting information, assuming that it was obvious.

He froze at the feel of those cool fingers, looking up at Astarion, noticing that he had red eyes. If anything, the touch made him blush harder. "I suppose. And I realize that you probably were talking back, in your own way."

"If you need a helping hand..."

That was just a jest, of course. Astarion needed Thrawn given that Thrawn was sympathetic to the poor masses of Faerûn. Or at least Astarion got the sense that he didn't much agree with the view the Empire seemed to have that Toril was a planet full of primitive beings. And Thrawn needed- or wanted- an ambassador to both represent the planet and also a guide to help him with politics.

"And I was really talking up a storm."

He pulled his hand back, "Just like you were. I suppose we're both the chatty sort."

"I mean, a lot of animals make noise just to make noise." As Astarion pulled his hand away, Eli felt a small sense of longing. "Or that you were just unusually smart and were trying at some form of communication." That probably came out wrong, making Eli dart his eyes to the side.

"Sometimes I have a lot on my mind and it helps to get it out there. Guess it's good that I didn't annoy you, seeing as we're going to be working together."

Suddenly Eli didn't mind that he was going to be spending a lot of time with Astarion and working closely with him.

"Given who you work for, I'm not surprised."

Astarion didn't know Thrawn that well. But something told him that details tended to slip his mind a lot. Perhaps because they were details that seemed obvious to him, but wouldn't be to everyone else. It remained to be seen if that read of the man was true, but that was the feeling he got given that Thrawn had just handed him over without a word about his true identity.

The elf moved to sit down on the couch next to Eli- slightly surprised by just how soft it was. He'd sat in a fair share of plush chairs and couches before, but this felt like something entirely different. More like a feather bed than anything else.

"You're the one who'll be teaching me about the vast world outside of the quaint little planet I'm from, then?"

"Thrawn can be a good listener sometimes. It's just that he's kind of a workaholic." Eli was this close to telling Thrawn that he'd go grey before he was forty at this rate. The man was probably looking at artwork by now.

Thoughts of Thrawn were swept away as Astarion sat with him, his cheeks threatening to turn red again. This close, he could pick up on Astarion's smell. Bergamot, rosemary, and a hint of aged brandy. Interesting combination.

"I am, yes. History, politics, that kinda thing. Teaching you Sy Bisti seems like an optional course, and I think he just likes the idea of the three of us sharing an obscure language. And you should get your own datapad soon, assuming Thrawn didn't preemptively order you one."

Edited 2024-01-08 10:07 (UTC)

"He did strike me as the type to be married to his job," Astarion said, giving a slight dismissive gesture, "When I first met him it seemed he hadn't had sex in about a decade, at least."

Which was something Astarion related to being married to one's job. He hadn't seen much of this ship or the world outside of Toril yet, but he was pretty sure that most people were better at finding a balance between work and life. Astarion knew that now that he was free to choose his own path, he would choose to balance his life so that he could have plenty of time to rest.

He would be an ambassador, after all. No one wanted a frazzled, high-strung ambassador who only thought about work.

"If he wants to share an obscure language, it might be just as useful for me to teach you both elven."

It seemed unlikely that anyone outside of Toril spoke that language, at least.

"And this datapad is one of those mysterious little slates, yes?"

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