boxofmisfits | It's Not a Software Glitch

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It's Not a Software Glitch

Sometimes the crew of the Chimaera figured that high command sent them on missions to the Unknown Region just so they didn't have to acknowledge the alien Grand Admiral for a while. Thrawn just took such assignments in stride. Scouts had reported the discovery of a backwater planet near the Unknown Region, and their reports sounded rather strange. A world host to many different native sapient races, able to do strange things that science couldn't explain, which hadn't become space-faring or even technologically caught up to most of the galaxy.

Thrawn was to send a camera crew down to film the planet, both as intel and as potential propaganda material. 'See what these people are going through and how nice would it be if the Empire helped them?' and all that. Thus the Chimaera had taken residence over a large city, later identified as Baldur's Gate, much to the citizens' horror and awe. Apparently their world was no stranger to invaders from another realm.

It was during one of these filming sessions that the crew ran into a rather odd glitch. They filmed a small group of seven people, but only six were showing up on the camera. They could see the man with their own eyes, he was right there, and yet no matter what, he just wasn't showing up on camera. Immediately the group had gone to the tavern where they were staying and reported this to Thrawn. The only explanation was that it was a software glitch, unlike anything they'd seen before. That explanation didn't satisfy Thrawn.

Curiosity immediately piqued, Thrawn asked for a description of the man and the location of where they'd captured the footage, and off he went. He had a pair of Death Troopers, in civilian clothes, nearby just in case, and Thrawn himself wore a hood and sunglasses, which did little to hide his alien features.

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"Yes. May this humble Paladin escort you," Perhaps he was laying it on thick with his assumed identity, but he figured he might as well play along. He waited for Astarion, before guiding him out of the tavern.

"Rest assured, you can return to this world anytime you wish," Thrawn said, as they walked the streets. "Be it homesickness or for business reasons. You need only ask." Thrawn knew what it was like to leave home for a long time, to leave friends and family, to do something he felt he had to do. He also promised himself that he would return home one day, and see his people again.

The shuttle, his confiscated smuggler vessel rather than an Imperial Lambda, waited just on the outskirts of Rivington. Pik and Waffle were already inside.

"There is little that I would miss."

Not nothing. He had friends that he might be keen to visit at some point. Perhaps his siblings and all of the spawn in the Underdark to see how they were doing. But nothing really binding him to the world. Had he been among the living perhaps it would have been different. Parents. A spouse. Maybe children.

Even if he couldn't imagine that he was overly fond of being in their presence even when he was among the living.

"But I'll keep it in mind."

He appreciated the offer if nothing else. His brows raised ever so slightly at the ship, not quite sure what he'd been expecting, "You know, I'm not quite sure what I was expecting. But at least this and the other one don't come with tentacles. And appears to be made of metal."

He hadn't exactly been free to walk around on the nautiloid, but his mind had lurched far enough into someone's who had been to know that those floors squished. Not that he was going to say that.

"Yes, my people have been examining one of the downed mind flayer vessels. It's interesting that it seems to be mostly organic," It wasn't technology that the Empire would be in a hurry to utilize, but it was interesting nonetheless. The scans of the vessel alone would be added to Thrawn's art collection. "As for me, I find that this ship allows me to be less conspicuous."

Thrawn took the pilot's seat and invited Astarion to sit in the copilot seat, the Death Troopers hanging back and taking seats. After initiating the takeoff sequence, the ship rose into the air and breached the atmosphere.

As they neared the Star Destroyer, Thrawn turned to Astarion. "I hereby invite you onto the Chimaera." The ship was technically a vessel, but it could count as a home and thus Thrawn chose to err on the side of caution. His research told him that vampire invitations lasted until the homeowner rescinded it, which was convenient.

"Eugh. I hope they were wearing gloves."

Astarion wasn't sure if mind flayer vessels decomposed the way corpses did and honestly he wasn't keen to find out. As flying vessels went, nautiloids were probably one of the more disgusting kinds.

He sat down as he was invited to, looking sort of vaguely interested as the ship began to rise, quickly leaving the ground and all he knew behind.

And he had been about to respond to Thrawn when he felt a sudden jolt of magic- a pins and needles sort of feeling spreading through him and before he knew it he was dropping down in a blur of shifting white smoke. There was a soft thunk as a white bat with a distinctive little puff of curls atop its tiny head fell onto the chair where Astarion had been sitting- followed by panicked and slightly angry sounding chirping.

"I assure you, they are taking precautions to be sanitary."

His head jerked over at the sudden burst of smoke, fearing that Astarion had burnt up somehow, despite the fact that Thrawn made sure that they were on the dark side of the world and no sunlight would come through during flight.

What he saw made his eyebrows raise. A little white bat, right where Astarion was. Putting the ship on autopilot, Thrawn leaned forward to examine the vampire in his current form.

"So, that was you that I saw the other night. I take it the change was involuntary?"

If so, that raised a few questions about Astarion's abilities or the magic that infused everything and everyone. He held out his hand, inviting Astarion to climb on.

The squeaks somehow seemed to shift from shock to being indignant, as if he was chastising Thrawn for even suggesting that the change had been voluntary. Of course it hadn't been. It wasn't like they'd hit a certain altitude and he'd decided that he needed to stretch his wings.

Even though he was squeaking and chirping incessantly, he did obediently climb onto Thrawn's hand though- heading straight for the opening in his sleeve. The bat form was convenient both for hunting and for fleeing, but being forced into a form that was not his own had still come as something of a shock.

Not quite the same as involuntarily becoming a monster, but still not comfortable.

And worse, it wasn't just him and Thrawn as witnesses to this embarrassment either.

As if sensing Astarion's thoughts, Thrawn looked behind his shoulder and said to the Death Troopers, "Keep this to yourselves." The Death Troopers nodded in obedience.

If Astarion could learn to control this ability outside of Toril, he could make a useful spy. Or Thrawn could sneak him into places, as evidenced by him crawling up the sleeve of Thrawn's outfit.

Upon entering the Chimaera's docking bay, Thrawn and the others stepped out of the shuttle and were greeted by an officer. "Welcome back, Sir. Commander Vanto arrived an hour ago, and he said he'd wait in your office to give you his report."

"Thank you, Lieutenant-Commander."

"Sir, is the new ambassador with you?"

"He is, but he has chosen to go unseen for now."

The officer seemed confused by that, but chose not to question his Admiral. Thrawn dismissed his Death Troopers for the day and entered the lift that would take him to his floor. Peeking into his sleeve, he said, "Let us hope that being away from your world doesn't cause too many problems with your magic in the future."

Exiting the lift, Thrawn made his way to his office, greeting the Stormtrooper guard as he entered. As promised, Eli was waiting for him, datapad in hand.

"I take it your journey to Elturel was informative?"

"Sure was. Wish I could've seen Baldur's Gate, though."

"We can always return."

"True." He typed a few things on his datapad and transferred his report to Thrawn.

"Thank you, Commander. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do." Right after he removed his disguise, of course. Reaching into his sleeve, he gently pulled Astarion out and handed him to Eli. Eli looked down at the bat, utterly confused.

Edited 2023-12-29 08:16 (UTC)

Hopefully his bag of belongings would be moved into whatever accommodations Thrawn had prepared. Astarion would have carried it with him himself, but given his current predicament, the only carry-on luggage he could bring was humiliation at his magic going haywire.

He thought he knew how Gale and Wyll must have felt now, after the tadpole had essentially scrambled all their abilities.

Settling into Thrawn's sleeve, he stayed quiet as they were on the move, letting out a few more indignant clicks and squeaks as Thrawn peeked into his sleeve to look at him. He sure hoped so too.

Astarion settled once more, listening in on Thrawn's conversation with the human with the curious twang to his accent. When Thrawn reached into his sleeve though, he began squeaking again- trying to cling to the fabric as he was pulled out. He was still squeaking as he was handed over and Thrawn moved to leave, looking after the man and then looking to Eli, before flopping over on his palm in a way that almost resembled giving up.

Edited 2023-12-29 08:17 (UTC)

Eli looked at Thrawn's retreating form, then down at the bat again. Before he could question Thrawn, the man had already retreated into his private quarters, most likely to remove the fake ears and change into his uniform.

"I didn't think Thrawn was the sort to get a pet." He mused, leaving Thrawn's office and going into his own quarters, right next door. An aide had to be close at hand to their commanding officer.

He idly stroked the bat's head with a finger. "Thrawn had me looking into this city that got sent to Hell. Literally. They're still rebuilding, but they kinda took it out on the tiefling population." Which was entirely unfair to them. It seemed that prejudice could happen no matter where you were.

"I passed myself off as a bard while I was there. It was kinda fun, honestly." He didn't know why he was saying all this to a bat. Perhaps he just liked getting his thoughts out in the open to something that couldn't talk back.

He set the bat down on his desk, before sitting down, stroking a finger down his back. "You're pretty cute. Especially those curls."

The man was a chatty one, wasn't he.

But then, Astarion supposed he was much the same when it was just him and an animal. He'd had a few conversations with Scratch in the past. And with the Owlbear cub. And a few passing cats who had decided to give him the time of day. It was easier sometimes to talk to an animal who couldn't respond back- unless you used a spell or a potion to understand them.

He lifted his head to push up against the finger stroking it, figuring he might as well make the most out of the petting given that he had little other choice.

He even chirped along to the conversation, intently thinking his responses at the man.

'I suppose I was lucky that Cazador set up shop in Baldur's Gate rather than Elturel. Would have liked to see him get reduced to a stain on the ground by some monstrosity in Avernus, but it really was more pleasing to get to do that myself-'

Chirp, chirp, chirp, squeak.

'A bard? The story-telling kind or the singing kind? You really need to be specific so that I can more clearly picture it, darling.'

Continued squeaks and a bit of a flail as he was slid down from his hand and onto the desk, once again flopping over as though giving up. His eyes closed briefly as the finger stroked down along his back, chirping an affirmative note. He was pretty cute indeed.

If Eli didn't know better, he'd swear the bat was trying to talk back. Lots of animals were chatty like that. Or maybe Thrawn had stumbled onto an unusually smart species of bat.

"I play a little guitar. Didn't think it would actually come in handy for a mission." Guitars weren't a common instrument where he'd been, but it was close enough to a lute, he supposed. "And unlike Thrawn, I didn't need to put on any fake ears to blend in."

Opening his drawer, he pulled out a small brush. Really, it was a spare toothbrush, which he made a mental note to replace. Gently, he ran the bristles through the bat's curls, then onto his back.

"We have bats on Lysatra, my home planet, but I've never seen one quite like you."

'You'd be surprised how often skills you didn't think much of can come in handy if you're creative about it,' Astarion thought in response, continuing to chirp. Music was a good way of lowering people's guards. People tended to get chatty when there was good music and good times to go around.

In another life, that might have been something he'd want to try for himself. With his undead lifespan being what it was, maybe he would pick up an instrument or two to fill the time.

'And it is significantly easier for a human to blend in. Of course in a place so diverse, Thrawn could have walked around without the false ears and most people would just accept that there's obviously a race they haven't seen much of yet or assume he's just a deviation from the norm.'

He looked a little like a drow, but without the ears and without someone with a keen nose like himself, people would likely have slotted him neatly into a half-elf category. Perhaps one with clipped ears.

Though his squeaking responses had been vigorous, they settled into being less frequent at the brushing- it was a rather soothing sensation.

"Honestly, I think Thrawn just likes playing dress-up and going undercover in disguise. Part of his closet is sectioned off with his various disguises." He even owned a set of Mandalorian armor. He brushed down the bat's back, seeing that he liked it.

"But seriously, a major city goes to Hell and back, forcing out part of its population that had nothing to do with what happened, and then this weird cult involving brain-eating aliens comes along. Suddenly the Clone Wars look mild by comparison." Said by a man who was just a kid when the Clone Wars were going on, and whose homeworld was unaffected by the war. Just one of the few perks of being from a backwater planet.

The door chime sounded and Thrawn entered, back in his uniform. Eli paused in his brushing.

"I see you and Astarion have been conversing."

"Astarion?" He looked at the bat. "That's a pretty name."

'Can't fault a man for enjoying dressing up, I suppose.'

Even if the preference seemed to be on costumes made to blend in, rather than on clothes that let him stand out. Astarion couldn't really understand that, given that he preferred to be vain and look pretty when he could.

He let out a slightly louder chirp then and his ears waggled as he lifted his head to look up at the man, as if to insert an argument that the cult had been the worst. Being able to stand in the sun, wade through rivers, and enter homes without an invitation had been nice. But he had not enjoyed the threat of becoming a mind flayer. The cult would have been nicer if they could have taken control of the brain though.

Unfortunately his party of adventurers had not agreed with that course of action.

And though elves didn't sleep, his eyes closed as the brushing continued- letting out a slightly louder squeak when Thrawn rejoined them, though he didn't move or even open his eyes.

"I apologize, but I had work to do," Thrawn said to Astarion, reaching down to scratch him behind the ears.

"So what kind of bat is he?" Eli asked, putting his elbow on the desk so he could rest his chin in his hand.

"Vampire," Thrawn replied, scooping Astarion up and holding him in his palms. "I also have an important job for you in the near future. I want you to tutor our new Ambassador in galactic history and politics, show him how to use the holonet, and possibly teach him Sy Bisti."

"Just as long as it doesn't cut into my other duties, you understand," Eli said, not at all afraid to question or contradict his commanding officer.

Astarion supposed he could understand why some druids were so fond of their animal forms. It was awfully comfortable to be brushed, petted, and scratched behind the ears. He hadn't wanted to transform, of course, and would very much like to turn back soon but it still seemed somewhat out of his control.

He gave a few quick chirrups at Thrawn's response that he was a vampire, because really it was a bad joke. Even if only he and Thrawn were in the know about that.

Astarion raised a wing then as if to wave to the human- he was a quick study and would certainly not take up so much of his time that it cut into his other work. Out of the things Thrawn had mentioned this Sy Bisti sounded most difficult given that he thought it might be some sort of language.

Of course that was only guesswork on his part for now. Could be a specific form of manners or courtly behavior too. Some sort of custom. Hard to tell when all of this was still so alien.

"It won't," Thrawn assured him, noting the way Eli smiled at Astarion, finding the waving cute.

"Pretty smart critter you've got there too," Eli said.

"Yes, he is. I will leave you to your duties and call you if I require anything, Commander." The two nodded at each other, before Thrawn took Astarion back out. Rather than go back to his office, Thrawn took him to the next room over from Eli's.

The room was set up more like a suite with a large bed, a desk with a computer, some comfortable chairs for sitting, and a private washroom. Astarion's bag was on the bed.

"This is where politicians typically stay," Thrawn said. "Consider them your quarters." Thrawn rarely played host to politicians, since most politicians didn't like working with him.

As accommodations went, this was certainly acceptable. Not luxury in the way that Astarion might imagine it, but far better than the Emperor's old hideout beneath the Elfsong, a rented room, a bedroll in the wild, and certainly superior to the dormitory in Cazador's palace.

Though there were plenty of things he couldn't quite recognize, the presence of his bag of belongings brought some sort of familiarity into a space full of unfamiliar things, smells, and sounds. No view to the outside either meaning that it was a safe space for him to be awake in during the day.

Gods he missed being able to be in the sun.

He chirped given that he couldn't speak and it sounded appreciative. He hoped.

Astarion wasn't sure if, as the ambassador for Faerûn, he would be staying aboard Thrawn's ship for long or if he eventually would need to find his own way, but for now it was 'home'. And he could probably add to it to make it a tad less... Sterile. All in good time though.

For now his focus was on trying to change back into his humanoid form.

"Forgive me, but I must pass you back to Eli for a while. I still need to write my report. Fear not, I will omit certain details about you." Namely that Astarion could shift into a bat. It was a useful secret to have.

Taking Astarion back out, he rang Eli's door chime and the moment Eli answered, he passed the vampire bat off once more. Eli didn't even get a word out before Thrawn said, "I will be in my office." With that, he shut the door.

Eli let out a sigh, more directed at Thrawn, despite the Chiss being out of sight now. He looked at the bat, stroking his back gently. "I know, but sometimes he just does things without explaining himself. It's just how his mind works. Still, at least he left me with such an adorable charge."

'What? No!' is what Astarion would have said if he could actually speak in his current form. He was more than capable of entertaining himself after all and didn't need to be handed off to someone else like an unruly pet. He wasn't a dog, after all. Thrawn wouldn't come back to the room in shambles if he just left Astarion there to try to change back.

His squeaking sounded decidedly irritated as he was handed back to Eli, and he let out a sigh of his own to mirror the human's.

Astarion thought that he knew how Boo felt now. Though Minsc was at least more capable of listening to Boo than Thrawn was of listening to him, it seemed.

The vampire squeaked again and gestured with a wing toward the door- very much a can you believe this? sort of motion.

"Dunno why Thrawn can't just put you on a perch or something. Maybe he doesn't want you knocking over any of his artwork, or mistaking something in his office for a perch." Eli went over to his bed and sat down, still holding the bat in his hands.

"Between you and me, I kept my bard outfit. I like the colors on it," He turned the bat around, to his closet, where a rather colorful outfit peeked out. His guitar was also visible inside his closet. "I still can't believe that there's a world where magic is real and anyone can just learn to use it."

'Please. He knows I'm not some sort of animal. Though I suppose he did neglect to tell you that.'

Probably slipped his mind.

And that certainly was a bard's outfit there in the closet. Complete with musical instrument. Wearing that and carrying an instrument, Eli must have seamlessly blended into the crowd in Faerûn. Probably with less suspicion than what Thrawn had met, too.

'I should introduce you to Gale if magic is that interesting to you, darling. He could talk your ear off about the study of it.'

Of course while he was thinking that all he could do was chirp and gesture with a wing. Gods he hoped he regained the ability to turn back soon.

"Well, Thrawn said that our business there is far from over, so we can explore it some more. So much magic and interesting technology, and the people. Teiflings, dragonborns, dwarves, drow, elves, and so on." He hadn't seen any githyanki, but he knew they existed. He didn't really want to run into one of those mind flayer things in person, though. Not after Thrawn shared his findings on how they made more of their number.

"Speaking of, Thrawn was supposed to bring a local with him. Wonder why he hasn't made himself known yet."

Taking the bat with him, Eli went into the guest suite, figuring that he might as well help get it ready. Their guest hadn't arrived yet and so it wasn't locked yet. Putting the bat on his shoulder, he got some sheets and blankets from the linen closet.

"I just hope he's better than some of the politicians Thrawn's rubbed elbows with."

'Oh dear, doesn't have much of an eye for politicians, does he?'

Thrawn had seemed fairly adept at reading people, so Astarion wondered why that possibly was. Maybe because most politicians were self-centered and more wily than him. Astarion would have to wait and see until he possibly met these other politicians Thrawn had rubbed elbows with in the past.

He had decided to leave to be an ambassador for Faerûn- honestly he'd love to be a fly on the wall when the patriars and everyone who was anyone got that news from their mysterious visitors that he had been chosen without them even getting to vie for the position- so that meant that the political scene would be his too. Not as intensely as if he was strictly a politician himself, but still a representative for his world. Or his part of the world, rather.

Since they were back in the guest room now, he decided to have a better look around- taking flight from the human's shoulder to survey the room- though to someone else it probably just looked like he was flying in circles.

"I'm just glad he told that Pryce woman to get bent." Apparently she'd helped get Eli his long-overdue promotion, but then she had to kill all those people at Batonn, and it had soured her relationship with them. She had tried to convinced Thrawn that he needed her, but he'd turned her down and left her to deal with the rebels on Lothal herself.

"Honestly, he's just bad at politics in general. A genius in every other way, but really bad at politics." He looked up as the bat went flying. "Restless, huh?"

He moved the bag over to a nearby sofa, wondering why it felt kind of heavy. Books, maybe? The sheets and blanket were plain black, as was the pillowcase.

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